house of dÜrt thru nostalgia's veil

Last christmas, matthew dÜrt and I bought ourselves a christmas present... a Canon EOS 60D.  In the months prior to that, we had finished wrapping up our first project: St. Lucy's Home for Girls Raised by Wolves, and we were eager to produce more, and wanted to have our own camera to practice with.

In this last year we have kept this camera close by constantly.  We have fallen in love with photography and cinematography, making it our desired medium for all future projects.  Whilst on this trip, matthew and I have brain-stormed constantly about what kind of art we want to be producing when we got home, forgetting to truly appreciate some of the things we have already captured.

Most of this has been hidden in our vault of images and videos.  But it is time to release some of it.

So I present to you: house of dÜrt thru nostalgia's veil.  A series of photographs from this past year.  We have plenty of projects planned and are eager to continue to release new, as well as old things from our private archive.  Stay tuned.

Sequins and Leopard Print

You know what I have been missing a lot lately?  I miss my clothes.  And I'm not talking about my t-shirts and my slacks... I'm talking about my sequins, my pearls, my fur, and leather vests.  I'm talking about my ripped up fishnets.  You know what’s a shame?  The world has never seen how fabulous I look in sequins and leopard print.   It’s a shame I keep this amazing clothing collection hidden in our furnace room back home, only to play with on the weekends... because these clothes are “costumes.”  These clothes are only for when I am being silly... they are only for dress up.  But something hit me the other day... I really, really miss these clothes.   And I got really defensive in my head; I was all like "GIRL, WHAT LACKLUSTER JERK DECIDED I GOTTA HIDE THESE COSTUMES IN MY CLOSET?!"  And then I realized.  No one set this damn rule.  The fake audience in my head set this rule.  And then I realized something else: I DONT HAVE TO FOLLOW IT!

When I first left on this trip, I wrote that I needed to cocoon; I said I needed to step away to clear my head and become who I wanted to be, and to find happiness.  And I believe that I did exactly that in a lot of ways.  I have had HEAPS of hours to sit around and think, reflect, ponder on everything there is to ponder on.  But I don't want to be backstage anymore!  I want to be ON STAGE!  I want this evolution to be seen. 

I am QUEER.  And I don't mean gay.  I mean STRANGE.  I am WEIRD.  And I want to show it, and I think it’s about time I do...

When I was a bit younger, around the time I was coming out of the closet, there was this 'boy' I used to watch on youtube... You probably know him. A couple of years after my sister Lea and I discovered this gem of a human, he blew up; you probably know him as the "LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!" guy/girl, but let me digress, Chris Crocker was a boy from a close-minded town in the south. He needed an outlet to express himself, and that outlet was a video camera and a youtube channel.  He would scream, cry, act wild, and go on about important issues that really mattered to him.  He also wore make-up, danced around, wore really bad weaves, and basically wore an attitude that said "IF THIS OFFENDS YOU, AND MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE, I am DOING MY JOB... AND REALLY, I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK.  I'M GONNA BE ME NO MATTER WHAT."  Look him up, he is hilarious, crazy, and he is one of my idols.  He has time and again reminded me that you can't let fear stop you from being who you are, and basically that "you're going to have haters no matter what, so it’s better to be hated for who you are, instead of who you're not."

Chris Crocker: Hairflip

So this is a declaration.  I am done oppressing myself.  I LOVE MYSELF.  I think I am neat... scratch that.. I am fabulous!  And I am just going to do what makes me happy, and for me, that means expressing myself.  And by doing so, I hope that I can help others see that you don't have to feel shame if you are a cooky weirdo.  You can love yourself no matter who you are inside...

That’s all I have to say... for now.  So cheers to a new beginning.  Let that pride shine brighter than your sequins. ;)

 

Fashions I am bringing to Europe!

Well, well, well. Another glorious day has reached a completion.  Today was our last full day to be productive. Tomorrow we are recording a wedding, and Sunday is my birthday party/goodbye party, and Monday we leave... wow! The day once again raced by, but I can proudly say that both Matthew amd I are essentially packed, or at least have everything ready to load into our backpacks.

I decided to save clothing selection as the final step for packing, mainly so I didn't have the pressure of knowing I had other things to accomplish, so I could focus all my attention on this very serious decision making process. ;)  Two things worth noting before I show you my list of clothing items I am bringing... First point: Last night Matthew had the suggestion of not bringing any of my 'standard' regular outfits, but to bring clothes that force me to let my freak flag fly.  So I decided to bring outfits that make me feel beautiful, and funky.  The word that keeps being repeated is 'euro-trash', so whilst packing I tried to pick outfits that represented it.  I want to look like a chic gypsy wanna-be with a little bit of club-kid twist.. not just for this trip, but these are the fashions and styles I am drawn to, so I figured it would be a good way to test it out. Second point: before you view these clothes: though I am proud I did a good job of not going overboard, the main thing I was keeping in mind is that the less I bring, the more I can BUY!  What better souvenirs for a fashion obsessed boy than interesting clothing from different cities around Europe. 

SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADIEU, I give you every single clothing item I am bringing:

                       TOPS:

 



extra-small striped shirt

One of my favorite T-shirts with the sleeves cut off.

sheer black tank top

BOTTOMS:

 

grey shorts



Red slacks and houndstooth socks

Polka dot socks and stretchy black pants

purple drop-crotch cotton pants... I call them my gypsy pants ;)

Jean leggings. They are great because they take no room at all in my backpack!

Metallic silver leggings, great if we end up at any night clubs, and once again they take up essentially no space in the backpack. 

 

 

                    SWIMWEAR:



 Navy swim trunks with pink polka-dots, and my American pride speedo. ;)

 

            BELTS AND SHOES:

Two belts, one brown and one black.

Two pairs of shoes: a black nice pair of boots, and my brownish grey hiking boots (a gift from my amazing parents.  These will be the most common thing I wear and I wanted to make sure that I had a way to be reminded of them daily as a way to find strength and courage.)

BAM:

EVERYTHING!  In one nice condensed pile.. not shown: 10 pairs of socks and ten pairs of underwear packed tightly in one of my eBags I posted about yesterday.